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Anger

Here are the questions filed under this category. To read Ken's advice on any item, click on the link "Read Ken's Answer."


We have three tiers of sales, and one of the sales reps on the top tier has a bad attitude and is not a team player. When she receives any feedback she feels is negative, she becomes angry and refuses to accept it. We would like your suggestions on how to work on changing her attitude.
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I work in sales and my manager reprimanded me in front of a customer. I was humiliated and angered. Afterwards, when I told him how upset I was, he said this is an excellent way for me to learn. I disagree. Do you?
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I wrote a report for management, and I asked my direct manager to have a look at it before submitting it. I am shocked and angry that he removed my name and put his on it. I did not say anything at the time, since I still have to work for him, but what can I do?
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Our company has a lot of angry employees. It's not a violent thing, but they just seem to be upset and negative. We have talked with them about this, but they don't say much. What can you suggest?
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I am the manager of the accounting department at a large title insurance company. There is a title officer who has a history of angry outbursts, mistreatment of assistants, and verbal abuse of co-workers, regardless of warnings from upper management. He claims that people are yelling at him, so he yells at us. His behavior is abusive and against all company policies and harassment laws. I need some advice.
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I work for a large company in the customer relations department, and I receive many complaints from angry customers. Some of the callers become extremely irate and resort to verbal abuse and profanity. Our company policy is to continue the call even if it becomes a personal threat. Failure to adhere to this policy can result in disciplinary action, including termination. What do you suggest?
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After a very upsetting meeting with my boss, I walked out of his office and muttered an expletive about him that no one was supposed to hear. He heard it, wrote me up, and warned me that if I don't change my ways, I'm out. I don't think it was fair to be punished for something he was not supposed to hear. What do you think?
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When one particular senior manager in this company gets upset, he uses a lot of profanity in his email. Several of us are offended and upset by this, but we are not sure what to do about it. After all, he is in senior management. He does not use this language in person. How do we get the profanity to stop?
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I just terminated an employee and she became very upset and hostile. She screamed at me, insulted me, and was out of control. I told her to calm down, but that only incensed her further. I am shaken by what happened here, and I wonder what to do if this happens again.
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Top management in our company frequently tells us how available they are, and they place major importance on their open door policy. I went to senior management for a particular problem, and my boss blew up at me for doing this. Did I do something wrong?
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I am going to be terminating an employee whose performance is below par. He has a very bad temper, and I am slightly concerned that he could have one of his outbursts when I fire him. What is the best way to do this?
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I am on a committee with three other managers, and we are analyzing customer service systems. In order to update the vice president of operations on our progress, we agreed that one of us would write a summary that would include comments from all of us. I had some important points that conflicted with those of the individual writing the summary, so he eliminated them and then emailed it. I am furious. What should I do?
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I have a co-worker who constantly finds fault in all of us. She brings up petty stuff to management, and she yells at other co-workers, is very confrontational, and becomes angry at the drop of a dime. This past weekend she purposely pulled a stunt that caused me to get written up. I’ve tried to resolve conflicts with her personally, and I’ve talked to management about her, but they almost seem afraid of her. What can I do now?
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When one of the managers asked me to handle a very basic chore, I emailed back that I thought his administrative assistant should do it. She has more time, and it’s really more her job than mine. She saw my email and is furious with me. I ended up doing the task, and I apologized to her several times and even brought her a gift. She is still mad at me and has refused to talk to me for the past three weeks. Do you have any suggestions?
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My manager just informed me that he hired a new person over our department. I thought I was in line for this position, but it’s clear that I have been bypassed. I am furious and ready to quit. Any suggestions?
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I recently terminated an employee who became belligerent and hostile during a termination session. She screamed at me, yelled in the halls, grabbed her things, and then stormed out. What are some ways to prevent this type of outburst in the future?
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I have an new coworker. Since she has been working with us she has done the following:Threw keys at another coworker because she had to work 30 minutes more than she was scheduled. Left her keys out where other people had access to confidential information and cash.Force balanced, left items out unlocked overnight.Lied about several things. Every time she is approached by management she turns the tables saying we don't like her, we act like we don't want to help her and we talk to her in a mean way.She has been treated the same as everyone else and doesn't complain unless she is approached by management about something she has done.Our local management seems to not be addressing the fact that she is doing this but questions us on how we speak to her.
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For the past 3/4 months I have been having issues with a new lady at the office, we used to be friends and without any falling out or fight just drifted apart. I noticed this and to avoid any negativity I addressed this with her, I thought everything was fine. About a month after this discussion I started noticing that she 'forgot' discussions we had had, to the point where I lost my temper (I apologized to everyone the next day). Her excuse was that nothing was 'formalized' in email. While we have always been a very informal workplace I have attempted to 'formalize' all my arrangements from then on. She has now bonded with another lady at the office, to the point that even the upper management is commenting on the fact that they can't pee without each other. It seems that the 2 of them are purposefully excluding me from conversations about projects that I am in charge of, and last week she submitted formal documentation about a project that I participated in without listing me on it at all. I found these documents in the printer room of the office. I know if I confront her about it she will have 'forgotten'. She leaves me to pick up projects that she 'just doesn't have time for' but barely puts in 6 hours a day at the office. I have spoke to my direct manager about this, and she is sympathetic, but seems to be unable to do anything. Our line manager is aware of the situation and offered to step in, but I am hesitant to involve him in something so petty - I am afraid that it will damage my reputation. I don't know what to do any more, the situation is so tense that my health is starting to suffer. I am 10 years her junior and more valuable to the company, if it is jealousy what can I do? Should I escalate this further? I love my job but am seriously considering packing my bags if this continues. Please help!
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During my mid-year review, I took the opportunity to bring forward my concerns and frustrations since being hired, and my boss stood up, got belligerent and yelled: “I can’t take this any more. This is a job! There are lots of jobs out there, maybe you should take a look around and go get one where you can sit in a corner and do projects all day. I have a lot of people I need to take care of, not just you. You obviously are not happy but I cannot make you happy. You need to decide if you are happy--and I’d like to know soon--because we are hiring.” She then stormed out of the room and returned to our department, got her coat, etc. and said to the team coordinator: “I need to get out of here NOW. I need a cocktail, badly.” [or something to that effect] and left enraged. It was said loud enough that others could hear and were alarmed. I was later texted by co-workers asking, “what happened? …are you ok?” The Assistant Manager was in the room with me during the yelling. He texted me later saying, "If you want to take a sick day that is fine and if you want to you talk with HR, they will be around next week." Is this acceptable behavior from my boss and should I discuss with HR? I have heard that HR is not helpful with employees, they tend towards blaming the employee and backing management…. Thank you.
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