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Meetings Power Plays and Players Assertiveness Feedback Condescending Treatment Inconsiderate Actions

We are supposed to make presentations at our department meetings, and there is one person who leaves me out of everything. When he hands out documents, he never has one for me, and he overlooks me if I have questions or want to make comments. I have not seen him do this to anyone else. What should I do?

It is not pleasant to be overlooked, and it definitely makes sense to look over any situation where this may be occurring. However, the first order of business is look at your own actions.

For example, when you attend meetings, do you interrupt, disrupt, or distract the group? Are you typically ill-prepared? Outside of these meetings, do any of your behaviors set the stage for his reaction in these meetings?

Assuming you have done nothing that would cause his unacceptable behaviors in his meetings, you need to have a different meeting, namely with him. Tell him that you would like to play a more active role in his sessions, and then give him specific examples of the ways in which you have been overlooked. Let him know how you feel about this and tell him that you expect to be treated as an active participant in these meetings. Then ask for his thoughts.

Based on what he says and does, you should not have difficulty in determining what you should say and do from there. Of course, the larger question is whether you need to attend these meetings at all. If you are being ignored in these meetings, perhaps you can ignore them.

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