Get advice on how to deal with jerks at work Check out the book 'Jerks At Work' and other titles by Ken Lloyd Ph.D. Return to the homepage Learn more about Ken Lloyd, Ph.D. Submit a question to Ken Lloyd, Ph.D.

You asked, Ken answers ...

This item is filed under these categories:
Friends Trust Career Planning Communication Incompetence Betrayal Ethics Quitting Time

A friend at work and I discussed some problems I was having on a particular assingment. Afterwards, he tood what I said and went to our boss. Without any notification, our boss took the assignment from me and gave it to my friend, and neither one informed me. I heard about the change from another co-worker. I am very upset. What should I do?

It appears that your friend does not know how to be a friend, and your manager does not know how to manage. As a result, you need to speak with both of them about what happened here. When you meet with your friend, focus on the facts and be sure he understands that you are upset with his actions. If you wanted your manager to be involved in this matter, you would have gone to him. At the same time, remember that this co-worker is not a true friend, and you need to be careful in dealings with him. Your manager should have come to you when he learned about your problems with the assignment. If he felt compelled to pull the project from you, he should have discussed this with you. Instead, he took all of your so-called friend's comments at face value and left you out of the picture. You need to give your maanger the complete picture, including your disappointment with the outcome. Let him know that you want more frequent contact and communication with him in the future. His reaction and subsequent behavior will let you know if you should even think about such a future with this company.

Comment on this item

Your name (optional)
If you leave this blank, we'll list you as "Website visitor"

Your comments
Please keep your comments focused on the topic. Thanks!

Reader comments

Posted by Chetan on 2015-11-27 11:50:43
Thank you for sharing sepurb informations. Your site is so cool. I am impressed by the details that youe28099ve on this blog. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for extra articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched everywhere and just couldn't come across. What a great website.|I have recently started a blog, the information you offer on this website has helped me tremendously. Thanks for all of your time & work.|I really appreciate this post. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You've made my day! Thanks again