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Lies and Lying Bullies Communication Condescending Treatment Feedback Assertiveness Insults

A very rude and scheming co-worker was recently promoted over me by our senseless boss. She is switching to a more subtle rudeness after the boss kind of told her to "cut it out" (but without any firmness). What she now does is make statements to me that just cross the line between normal instructions and condescending, harsh reprimands. Her speech and emails carry a tone that implies that I do not pull my weight which is far from the truth. She enlists the help of other employees in mobbing me in this way. Management does not understand the subtleties of communication and I fear that if I cannot assert myself properly against this continuous onslaught, my anger will build to explosiveness (the bullies' goal). I am afraid that she will get huffy and take a complaint to management that I am unable to take instructions or criticism and that they will review the facts and side with her. They might say that I am "taking it the wrong way" or "reading into things incorrectly" and blame me. This is something that is happening after the bully has made a pattern of treating me with great rudeness and disrespect. She is a jealous, insecure baby but has been with the company for 7 years where I have only been there 2-1/2 years. They love the little ass-kissing fool. Any advise on how to handle this?

Your distress, anger, and potential rage are practically palpable. You have negative labels for your manager and management in general, and it truly sounds like you are about to lose control. Fortunately, you understand that if you do so, you will be playing into the hands of your manager and setting the stage for serious discipline and possible termination.

For the immediate future, you should continue to do your best work on the job, and then make sure that management beyond your direct manager is aware of your performance and productivity. Since your managerís comments regarding your work are ďfar from the truth,Ē it is up to you to get the truth out. This doesnít mean running around and bragging, but rather including your achievements and accomplishments as part of your email and general communications. If management starts to understand the excellence of your work, perhaps your managerís less-than-excellent actions will be more accurately perceived.

Over the longer term, if your manager and management in general continue to make moves that degrade you and your work, perhaps itís time for you to make a move beyond this organization.

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