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Friends Betrayal

A friend of mine at work went to my boss and told him that I am having problems with part of my job, and that is just not true. I told this friend a while back that I do not like all the paperwork, but that's it. She told me she went to my boss just to help me. How should I deal with this?

If your friend's motive was truly to help you, then her judgment is rather iffy; and, if her motive was anything else, then your friendship is rather iffy.

At this point, you need to communicate with your friend and with your boss about what happened here. As for your friend, the best step is to let her know that if she is concerned about you, she should discuss her concerns directly with you, and not with your boss. Let her see the kind of damage that her comments can cause for you as well as for the friendship.

You should mention to your boss that, yes, you are not a big fan of paperwork But, frankly, who is? Let him know that if you sensed that the paperwork was a serious problem, you would have approached him yourself.

At the same time, as long as the paperwork issue is on the table, perhaps you can do a little homework and see if there are either some ways to streamline it or eliminate some of it altogether. There are numerous computer programs that can be particularly helpful in this arena.

As for the future, you will probably want to be more discrete in communicating with your friend, at least for a while. It should not take long for you to see if that friendship is deep or paper-thin.

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