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I have worked at a family owned doctors office for eight years.My administrator is one of the doctors sons, and his sister in law has worked in billing and coding forever. I worked as a nurse, until I was asked two years ago if I wanted to transfer over to billing. I did and things were good. I shared an office with sister in law, and we got along fine. Another nurse, whom I considered to be my best friend, was asked if she wanted to transfer as well, about 7 months after I did. There was not enough room in our office for someone else, so she was put in one by our administrators office. I had to find out through the grapevine that she was transferring, & found it strange that she didn't tell me, so I began snooping and found out she was given $4 more an hour than I. I didn't say anything, I just asked for a raise and got it, but during all this, sister in law would talk to me about her, and I admit I talked back for a little while b/c I was angry about her not telling me she was transferring and acting all shady. I started feeling bad, so I stopped fueling the fire when she would come try to talk about her to me. I guess she realized that I wasn't going to trash my friend anymore, and she has now moved into the office with her. When she comes in (at whatever time she feels, cause she's in the family) she never comes by to tell me hello, and unless I go to ask a question or take something to their office neither one of them would ever come and speak to me. She acts fine when I initiate a conversation, but I am being completely ignored, and I don't understand why. And I can't say anything to by boss because that is his sister in law!!! What can I do??

More than likely, the sister-in-law told your friend what you said about her, and that put the kibosh on your friendship while simultaneously building a bond between the two of them. Although you were disappointed that your friend did not tell you about the transfer, it would have been better if you spoke directly with her as opposed to “snooping.” If this person is truly your friend, a candid conversation between the two of you should not have been a problem.

If you want to rebuild the relationships with these two individuals, you should meet with both of them to clear the air. You can mention that you were upset in not knowing about the transfer and the pay differential, but none of these factors is as important as having a positive relationship with them.

Going forward, continue to reach out to them and let them see that your actions are backing up your comments. If there are opportunities to help, support, or include the two of them in important matters, you should do so. By essentially hitting the restart button on your relationship with both of them, the rebuilding process should restart as well.

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