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Friends Manipulation Decision Making

One of my friends at work recently signed up with a multi-level marketing organization and wants me to do likewise. The products seem fine, but my "gut feel" is that this is not for me. She keeps telling me to forget about "gut feel" and listen to the facts. The only reason I would join is that I don't want to lose a friend. What should I do?

It is impossible for you to lose a friend if you do not rush with open arms and phone lines to join her budding empire. The reason is that if this person is no longer friendly with you after you decline her offer, she was not really your friend in the first place, and you can't lose what you didn't have.

Your friend keeps advising you to listen to the facts, but if she really believes that, she is missing an important one herself: research has found that some of the most powerful and effective decision-makers actually rely heavily on "gut feel."

"Gut feel" is the result of your mind putting the present decision through a filter made up of all of your experiences over the years. The result is that you get a visceral reaction to the decision: either you can stomach it or you cannot.

This means that your experience is telling you to pass on this one, even if your friend's multi-level company has the perfect antacid to quell your nervous stomach.

At the same time, it sounds like you have been expressing some uncertainty to your friend as to whether you will or will not join. As long as she senses that the door is even slightly open, she will keep trying to squeeze through.

The time has come to tell her that you have made a final decision -- no wavering, no equivocating, and no procrastinating. You can thank her for letting you look over the opportunity, and you can honestly tell her that you hope it is successful for her...but it is not an opportunity that you wish to pursue, and you hope that she will understand. You can also tell her you hope that your friendship will continue intact.

It is said that you cannot put a price on friendship, and you are about to see if that is true.

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